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17

Jan

Fall Formal

Every Sorostitute’s favorite time of year; Fall Formal. The girls and I stocked up with 3 different handles of Burnette’s just to be absolutely sure that we would be sloshed. It was about 15 minutes until our Frat Daddys arrived to pick us up in our 6 inch heels and 7 inch dresses when my buddy Seattle offered to iron my dress. I finished gluing my curls with hair spray until i heard a shattering scream. I turned around to Seattle’s face in utter shock, leaning over my dress with the purple fabric singeing underneath of her. I left the room before i started calling her a slutty bitch and cried some mascara off then proceeded to raid my neighbor’s closet. I tried to salvage the dress but there was a gaping black hole in the front so I laughed it off as i slipped on a pink sundress, not half as formal as my previous dress, but fuck it, i already had about 3 drinks in me and i knew i wouldnt be wearing the dress my longer anyway. The frat daddys had arrived just after housing my fourth drink. We arrived at the pregame greeted by 20 screaming strat stars accompanied with plenty of arm candy. we continued to take shots, embarrassing pictures, and scream at each other like we were remaking the “white bitches in the club” video. As soon as we walked out the door to board the bus to the venue some dumb bitch immediately slid face first down a metal stair case. she screamed and cried while people simply climbed over her and her date to get a good seat on the bus accompanied by our flasks. By this point in the night i am inebriated. After watching one girl throw up out the window we arrive at the venue. There is a massive bar fully stocked with beers and wine, lacking liquor; but that didn’t matter my date had a flask strapped to his stomach. Everyone headed to the dance floor  I’m not sure if i was imagining this because i was black out, but i noticed my friend Chaco (named that because of her hideous sandals) belly dancing with her hindu date who was sporting a dot glued to his forehead; classic. As they continued to dance like wild middle easterns in a desert. i looked over at Seattle who was dancing extremely provocatively with her date. I dont even know if i could call this dancing, Seattle had both of her hands on the ground and i could literally see her black thong because her dress was hiked so far up her back. I screamed and pulled it over her butt like a good sister should. Her dry humping and Chaco’s belly dancing were interrupted by a scrawny bar tender up on stage. He begged us to please stop being animals and stealing from behind the bar.. the crowd retaliated by chugging the stolen beverages and throwing them around the dance floor. Glasses shattered and people continued to dance, the workers did not like this. We continued to dance but were interrupted again by a bigger worker on stage this time. He told us that it was time for us to leave because someone had ripped the bath room sink off the wall. Wait DID SOMEONE REALLY RIP A FUCKING SINK OFF THE WALL? total frat move. and yes this really happened, several guys leaned the sink until the pipes burst, flooding the mother fucking bath room and left the mother fucking sink on the bath room floor. I dont think we will be invited back anytime soon.