Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan
Social icons by Tim van Damme



The Weirdest Mother Fucker I’ve Ever Met

So, I’m sittting in my math class hung over as fuck, but I seem to have this problem where i’m not hung over with a head ache complaining about it, instead i find myself having a great ol with a pretty good buzz. Must be my slow metabolism, sucks for yall with normal hang over symptoms. anyway this bucked tooth freak will not stop telling me about her having a heat stroke during her color guard practice, yeah she waves a flag around the field before football games.. she grabs my arm and starts squeezing me complaining about how tight the outfits are, i feel like im gonna throw up on her and i cant stop laughing.. she tells me she will do my math home work since she figured i have a social life, i get excited, then ask myself if i really want a retard doing my home work assignments.. i get up to leave class and stumble to my next lecture hall.. theres nearly 300 people in there but this crazy color guard bitch still happens to A.) be in the same class as me and B.) find a seat next to me. FUCK MY LIFE. she passes out cold within 15 minutes of the lecture, drooling and all. i am hysterically laughing at this point all by myself and get out of my seat to get a good mobile upload of this wacko. my phone is about 6 inches from her face and she wakes up and goes “what da heck are you doing” is her weird voice.. i dropped my phone and claimed i was looking for service.. everyone around was cracking up.. i got my phone sat down and asked myself what the fuck i was thinking.. the next day i withdrew from that class.. she still stalks the shit out of me in math though, she really wants me to join the color guard.. she complained about their half time show because theyre doing “ghost busters” and everyone has to wear a white sheet over their heads.. she claimed they look like the kkk… which made me consider joining, but i think id rather tailgate for 8 hours at a time.